Conflict Negotiation
Preparing to Negotiate
Step 1: Define the Conflict Issue
- What is bothering you?
- Why does it bother you?
- What is the behavior of the person that creates a conflict?
- What behavior would you like to see from the other person?
“When you [behave in this way], that is a problem for me because ________.”
Step 2: Identify & Evaluate Your Goals
- Why do I want to resolve this conflict?
- What is a good resolution for me?
- How important is it to me that we reach this resolution?
- How do I want to be viewed by _______?
- How does this situation affect the way I view myself?
Step 3: Should I Negotiate?
- How interdependent are you with ___________?
- What leverage do you have?
- What benefits will ____________ gain by negotiating with you?
- What might be the risks of negotiating?
- What is your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)?
- If you decide to negotiate, don’t delay; set up meeting as soon as possible.
Step 4: Arrange a Meeting
- Request the meeting.
- State the problem you wish to discuss as you defined it in Step 1.
- Say you would like to find a solution that benefits both of you.
Negotiating the Conflict
Step 5: Come to the Meeting Prepared
- Thank the person for their time and willingness to meet with you.
- Explain your point of view and offer suggestions for solving the problem.
- Be willing to listen (because you may hear new information or suggestions)
- Stay focused on the goals and interests that brought about this meeting.
- Steer conversation toward something you can agree on.
- Seek a solution that benefits both of you (Win-Win) first, then look toward a compromise.
Step 6: Make an Agreement [contract]
- Agreement must be clear and address voluntary behaviors for both parties.
- What behavior, who, when, how will the agreement be carried out?
- Check to make sure you both have the same understanding of what is being agreed upon.
- Ask the other party if they agree and confirm your agreement.
Step 7: Follow Through
- Do what you say you would do promptly.
- Thank the other party for complying with the agreement.
- If the other party does not comply, set up another meeting and adjust the original agreement.
- If other party fails to comply repeatedly, re-examine your BATNA and whether it is worth your time.